2021 is finally here and with it has come more goal setting, dreaming, and hoping than in any other year I’ve lived in. Our hopes are high for 2021 and as a type A and Enneagram 1, I got ideas for it, but first let me talk about the end of 2020.
As a college student, time moves in semesters and in this last semester I actually committed to habits I’ve wanted to develop for years. All online classes gave me a lot of freedom to cook, run, and have quiet time while working around my few Zoom classes.
My saving grace this last semester was morning runs. I know, I know — people who swear by running at absurd times of day are the worst, but these runs have actually combined a lot of things I love into one activity. First off, I love mornings but have always found it hard to wake up without a real, active purpose. Going on a run got me outside and awake. In the crazy of 2020 it was easy to feel like I was floating around with an optional or nonexistent routine, which I personally hated. I also committed to only listening to worship music on runs, starting the day on the right foot spiritually. Morning runs meant I accomplish something right off the bat, even if I didn’t feel productive that particular day. Building runs in also meant I had a consistent workout routine which skips the guessing of “will I get in my workout today?.”
My running routine, however, didn’t come without its share of 2020. I planned to start as soon as I got to school before classes really kicked up, but a wrench was thrown in those plans when I got Covid the first week of classes. Even when I came back to school recovered, I felt weaker than usual and hated that. I’m a if you can’t do it well, don’t do it at all person, so this setback really threatened my plans. But I chose to just start, even if I ran super slow or the run turned into a walk, and I’m so thankful I did. Some runs became walks because of an exhausting week or when I couldn’t find fast enough music, but when that happened I leaned on the other reasons for the run. The getting up, the getting outside, the time in worship I needed. I got to end fall semester looking back on all I had done, and for that I’m thankful.
In the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about what slowing down can look like, what protecting my time and my space means, and what I want to bring into the new year, especially as life moves back to a faster pace. In the last year, I’ve been reading The Book of Waking Up by Seth Haines, which is a sort of devotional about sobriety. Not just sobriety in terms of major addictions but sobriety in life – how the little things we do to numb ourselves take away from the worship of our Creator. We are made to adore, but we come to adore the wrong things, we misplace our adoration and leave none for the Lord. Its been fascinating to learn about the author’s personal deliverance from alcoholism but also how the addictive tendencies an alcoholic might have aren’t that different than the numbing agents I use on a daily basis (Social media may be the biggest, but they can also be things like shopping, Netflix binging, etc.).
All this to say, I’ve been drawn to simplicity, to less distractions. I’ve also been convicted to sit with more of my negative feelings and past hurts. I’ve watched a few videos of people who have given up their smartphones for flip phones and while that’s not me, I do want to simplify my phone down to a tool instead of an extra arm. I want less instant gratification because honestly, I’m addicted to it. So, my main goal for 2021:
To learn to love the process
I want to learn to love the process of developing film, of forgiveness, of getting places, of cooking, of making coffee, of creating art, of getting better at playing guitar, etc. My generation is losing the art of the process, the need to talk to people, the waiting. 2020 took away a lot of anticipation, a lot of waiting, and what I learned is that people can thrive in the waiting, in fact we missed the waiting for good things.
Last week, I was babysitting a girl and had to take her to tennis camp. I had 2 hours to kill but didn’t have anywhere to go so I brought a book (actually 2 because I enjoy being over-prepared) and channeled my inner Rory Gilmore. The fun thing about reading a book is that you can see how far through you are getting. On instagram scrolling never ends or tells me I’ve spent my time wisely. There’s also a present-ness reading brings. I could hear everything around me, or look up to watch the kiddos without losing my place in the book. Reading books is a process and I like it.
There’s a lot more I could say about why learning to love the process is a good practice for me. It’s not only about instant gratification, but also about patience and letting go of the need for efficiency. Efficiency is another addiction for me, and while its usually a positive thing, I find it hard to ever enjoy an adventure or travel day because I’m worried about traffic or flights being delayed (back in the olden days when we flew). It’s really only through the process that we change. Like running faster or adjusting your sleep schedule – the process is where its at.
Anyway, that’s my focus for 2021. If there’s anything 2020 taught us, its that we have absolutely no idea what the future will look like, and I’m praying despite what’s ahead, I can learn to love the process.
Happy New Year, friends!
Gracie Girl Blog 
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