Gracie Girl Blog

I used to dread winter with the best of them. Daylight savings was a dark day, I loathed the early sunsets and cold weather. Winter marked a season of enduring, but in the last few years, winter has changed for me. It has become a season to embrace.

Ironically (considering my hesitations about the season), I’ve always spent time outside during winter. Horseback riding is year-round, so even in the coldest months, you can find me trekking through freezing temps, wind, and snow to ride. In high school, I didn’t have a choice, so I endured. I somehow failed to notice how accomplished I felt every time after getting home from a ride in the elements. Some of my fondest riding memories took place in the indoor arena on the farm, rushing to warm up, commiserating with fellow riders, coming up with creative ways to jump the few jumps set up in the ring, and setting speed records for untacking and putting our horses out in the fields.

College required daily walks to class, despite the wind ripping through campus at all times. While wind continues to be a bane of my existence, the force has yet to kill me. Some of those walks were just plain freezing, but sometimes – they were great. Knowing as I walked home in the dark, a warm and lit house where my roommates were hanging out was waiting for me.

I’m not quite sure why my opinion of winter began to shift, but I can tell you I am someone who struggles to rest. Accepting winter as a natural season of rest felt right in many aspects of my life. It doesn’t mean work ceases, but there’s a settling in, a coziness about it. There’s candles to light, warm drinks to sip, time to read books, and the permission to turn in a little earlier. There is less obsession about what we look like and naturally more room to assess how we feel (which maybe, is why winter is despised by many).

I like the peace winter brings. The quiet and brightness of the snow, the colors of the sky, the flickers of fire in the fireplace.

That’s not to say there is not always something about winter to be endured – I think there always will be. Particularly among my friends who are taking care of horses or have other outside jobs, they are braving the elements every day, no matter the weather. The lack of sun is hard sometimes, and seasonal depression very real.

However, changing my mentality about winter, has made even miserable days better. I began to consider “What if I didn’t commit myself to hating 3-4 months of the year?”, and I’ve found there’s a purpose here too, in the cold, bleak, and quiet. Humanity has been wintering for thousands of years, after all, enduring and thriving.

I’ve been trying to decide if I’m in a spiritual winter, and have come back to “I don’t know, there’s not a lot going on right now”…which I believe confirms I am. I’m waiting for the Lord’s green light on some dreams I’ve had for a long long time. I wouldn’t say I’m in a season marked by grief, but there are moments I realize I’m still grieving the life I loved so much in Blacksburg, especially as the season reminds me of cozy memories there. This is the second year of my life where I have no clue where I may be in December, but I’m realizing sometimes that’s the space the Lord asks for. If I could have my life planned from now to the day I die, I would, but sometimes I find myself thankful for the possibility of anything at this time in my life.

We were made for the cycles of days and seasons. Times of rest and times of harvest. Rest isn’t something earned after you reap harvest a certain amount of times or reach a certain quota – it’s built into the cycle, expected and at times demanded (by our circumstances, bodies, grief, etc.). We were made for seasons of dormancy, no matter how welcome or unwelcome they come, just as we were made for summer and fall and spring. What a blessing.

P.S. If you want to dig more into spiritual winter, I loved this article.