Gracie Girl Blog

I just got back home from Young Life camp and I have so much to write. So many things and very few of which I could fit in and Instagram or Facebook caption. Young Life camp is a week long camp that is very unique. You stay in a cabin with girls (or guys) from your school with your leader. The leaders are from your Young Life back home which I love because that means they come home with you too. As a camper you almost never know what’s going to happen next, but that’s part of the fun. For almost everyone, it is the best week of their life and now I completely understand why. (Confession: YL camp took a close 2nd to Wyoming for me, which is no surprise.)

I’ll start honestly by saying the week before camp was a mess for me. Emotionally it was rough. I was really dependent on camp to distract me and help me feel better. That being said, I didn’t think too much about camp before getting on the bus because I was too preoccupied with everything else.

Early Saturday morning we were up and ready to load our stuff on the bus. I knew a few people going and recognized a lot of other people. On the bus we played Heads Up, talked, and the leaders set up a speed dating game before we got to camp so we could get to know people a little better. Then they took our phones. I was more than happy to hand it over.

Our cabin consisted of 10 girls and our leader Rachel. There were 4 freshmen (we were called “the babies”), 4 graduated seniors (I love every one of them and am so sad they are off to college soon), then Libby who was sort of part of “the babies” group because she is a year ahead of us, and finally Sami who is a rising senior. We had a wonderful group and during free time often did things as a cabin, even though it wasn’t mandatory.

I heard someone say that it’s nice to not have your phone because then you can actually get to know people. I found that to be so true. Ironically I had already followed 2 of my cabin mates on Instagram, but didn’t know them personally. I got to spend the week getting to know all my cabin girls for who they actually are, not who they are online. In my world, that is such a rare opportunity, and such a special one.

Someone I felt especially thankful I got to know was Savannah. (Okay this is a little weird because she may or may not see this). Savannah is someone I knew of, and had seen at Young Life a few times, but never really got to know. She’s an amazing volleyball player, and was on homecoming court, yet she is one of the most down to earth people I’ve ever met. She is so outgoing and was most of the time singing and dancing around (encouraging everyone else to do the same). She made a point to say goodnight to each individual person in our cabin every night, which meant a lot to me. She’s one of those people who lights up a room when she’s in it. She’s the kind of person I aspire to be. Being able to see how she loves people (and being loved by her), made me want to love the same way.

I was thankful to all the older girls for really including everyone. Making sure everyone felt appreciated and involved. Usually that’s my position, I’m always the one going out of her way to look out for everyone else (though I don’t always do a great job). It’s not that I don’t like being in that position, but it was so nice to have a break and kind of be able to relax for once (after all I am still sort of a newbie).

Our speaker for the week, Aswan, did a great job of not only telling the gospel, but also making sure he connected with us. One of the first things he made clear is that he didn’t want it to just be him preaching at us, he wanted to create a conversation. He wanted everyone to make their own decisions. He talked about how every person was created to have a partnership with God. And we broke that partnership, and cheated on God. On a separate night he told us of Jesus’ sacrifice, so we could have a partnership with God again. We waited a whole day and then learned of the resurrection. It emphasized the fact that Jesus died for me. for you. for everyone. But He didn’t stay in the grave. He beat death. Aswan explained it as “Jesus told death “yo chill.”‘

Aswan used the phrase “helpless but not hopeless.”Which I absolutely love. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with stomach problems. I have a sensitive stomach but it also is affected by nerves. And at camp, I was caught off guard and my stomach hurt a lot. It was usually okay during the day, but at night I was kept up for hours. It was nothing I hadn’t dealt with before, but I had never had to deal with it at camp. I was worried I would have to go home. Yes, we got medicine to help, but sometimes it doesn’t stop the pain and  I feel helpless. The only thing you can do at that point is wait it out and trust it will get better.

Thinking of other things I might be helpless in, friendships came to mind. Everyone wants close friends, solid friends, Christian friends. But you can’t force relationships. You can’t automatically be close to people. It takes time and the right circumstances. I learned at camp that something everyone was starving for, was good relationships. The ability to be real and not so isolated. The opportunity to be yourself and be accepted for it. I learned that there really is a lot of hope for that.

Cabin time. Everyday at the end of the day we would sit in a circle and talk about the good and bad of that day, and Aswan’s talk. We had a ton of laughs and a lot of serious not-a-dry-eye-in-the-room moments. The phrase “what happens in cabin time stays in cabin time” was taken seriously. But everyone was connected. Through really fun things and really serious things we were building relationships with each other. It was amazing to see God working. To hear really hard, personal stories, and to hear how God was the savior in those situations. When we prayed, we all held hands, and like I’ve said, in a world full of likes, followers, and posts, that real life connection meant everything.

One evening after a powerful talk by Aswan everyone was sent outside to go be by themselves. The saying “let go and let God” would perfectly describe this time. It was an opportunity to let God talk.

This is probably one of the most powerful times at camp, and you hear people’s stories about how during this quiet time God spoke to them in one way or another. However, I wasn’t expecting much. To be honest I was frustrated, even mad, with God. He hadn’t taken my stomach pain away. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just heal me. I was in a different place than a lot of people. I started my relationship with Jesus when I was 5 years old. When my stomach hurt at night and I couldn’t sleep, I was praying and singing worship songs in my head. I had expected God to do something by then.

Sitting in the grass, looking at the lake in the fading sunlight, I let what little tears I had left go. Before I could think much its like I heard a whisper say “Grace let go, I am here.” In that moment, it is exactly what I needed to hear. I believe God is always around, but at camp thus far it had felt like He was just sort of floating around. Suddenly here meant right next to me, right with me even in my pain. Even though He didn’t take it away immediately, He was right with me through it. And that meant the most to me. That’s really what I needed.

In fact, God had already showed me a glimpse of that love at camp. One night around the 2nd day when my stomach was still hurting, my leader Rachel hopped onto my bed with me. As we hugged she said “I just want your tummy to be better.” In that moment, she wasn’t trying to fix it, she was just there for me. And that meant the world. Truth is I didn’t need it to feel better. It progressively did get better and I was completely fine the last 2 days. But what I think I did need was someone to be there. And God knew that. I know he watches out for me.

One of the reasons Young Life camp is one of the best weeks ever is because for the first time teenagers get to hear “Hey I know you are a mess and feel alone. But I am in the same boat you are.” Since I  have known God my whole life, I know how special it is when people hear His message for the first time. Not only do you hear that we are ALL broken, but that we can ALL be fixed. Teenagers who have heard only a little about God or maybe have turned away from Him learn that His love is so big. So much bigger than the loneliness. Bigger than the regrets. Bigger than even death.

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so

Psalm 107:2a

At the end of camp, if you have decided to start a relationship with God, you can stand up and say so. 3 girls from my cabin stood up and said so. Many other people did too. I can’t explain it to you. You would have had to be in that room. That place was so filled with love, so filled with God. Whether you were a believer or not, you could feel it. Most people were crying as person after person committed to getting to know Jesus more. For a lot of people, it was the beginning of hope and the end of loneliness. For me, it was yet another time all I can do is sit back and say “Wow God.”

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back into the real world. I mean I wanted to be home, but I knew laying in my bed going to sleep at a decent hour and NOT having 10 other girls to talk to 24/7 would make camp look pretty good as soon as I did get home. With 4 people in our cabin being seniors, I just felt like nothing would ever be the same again. The only good thing about getting phones back was being able to get the social medias and numbers of everyone you had spent the week with. This time, I felt like I was following people I actually knew and actually connected with.

We arrived home and everyone hugged goodbye. Camp was over, but the relationships didn’t disappear. (I now have 1o new friends on Snapchat) And I’m so thankful for the people and the fun we had together.

Once home I realized something. I HATE the feeling of “it’s never going to be the same.” It’s one of those things that keeps me up at night. But God reminded me of heaven. Where it will be the same. Where I will get to party with those people every. single. day. For that I couldn’t be more thankful.

So shout out to Brookview 8 for being the best cabin. #weworkout Shout out to DJ Dragon, Bobby the Boy Scout, The life coaches (#yesIcan), and the ninjas for keeping it interesting. Thank you to the ropes course guys for making sure no one died. Thank you to the work crew for taking great care of us (Love you Katie!!). Finally, thank you to God, for never changing, for being all-loving and for never failing to amaze me.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1